Barney Stinson : Now why don’t we be clear, I do not love her ok? I simply miss her whenever she actually is perhaps maybe not around, i do believe about her on a regular basis and I also imagine us 1 day operating towards one another in sluggish movement and I also’m using a brown suede vest.
Marshall Eriksen : will you be ever planning to inform her the method that you feel?
Barney Stinson : No. Perhaps. Never Ever. I’m not sure.
Barney Stinson : You Aren’t Lily. Lily is a fiendish mastermind, manipulating every person therefore she wants that she gets what. She actually is pure evil. You have got a great one. Hold on tight to her.
Barney Stinson : we told one to employ a adorable associate with her, Ted, look at her! She’s the greatest woman on the planet!-I’m getting off-topic: You’re an idiot that you can sleep with, but instead you hire a cute assistant that *Robin* can sleep with and of course he’s going to sleep! That is my message: you are an idiot!
Barney Stinson : No. One individual storming down is not sufficient! Marshall, storm down beside me!
Barney Stinson : PJ’s not some hot chick you’re banging?
Ted Mosby : No, I’m mentoring him.
Barney Stinson : Mentoring. We mentored a fellow that is young. Even made him my wingman. Then, 1 day, he hired an associate to get results ten feet from their bed room who-get this-isn’t a chick that is hot. Proving he never paid attention to an expressed word i said. And did you know that child’s title?
Barney Stinson : Possibly. I do not keep in mind. Because he could be DEAD IN MY OPINION!
[Gets up to leave, recalls something]
Barney Stinson : PJ’s gonna be getting a rather card that is confusing the mail, along side an apparel which he should by no means wear for 3 days and then mail back once again to me personally.
Barney Stinson : the plain things i find out about this provider, i could never ever be fired. We may find myself ashore without any fingerprints or teeth, but I am able to never ever be fired.
Barney Stinson : you will need that plain thing that produces you a man.
Marshall Eriksen : Oh, We have that thing which makes me personally a man. Perhaps also a man . 5.
Barney Stinson : No, maybe not that thing! After all thing which makes you some guy. Like Toy Man in HR.
Toy man : The news that is bad, we must review the newest GNB recommendations. The news that is good, we have to accomplish it with Wolverine claws!
Marshall Eriksen : [Food Guy goes on, holding cotton candy] Hey, Food Guy.
Barney Stinson : [Toy Guy goes on in a scooter] Hey, Toy man.
[a ninja by having a blade passes by]
Barney Stinson : He does not work properly right right here. I believe the building should be left by us.
Barney Stinson : it has happened before.
Barney Stinson : Okay, since Lily’s perhaps maybe not conversing with me personally, there is something which i need to inform you. And also this is not an easy task to state, all right? I am- watch for it- in- watch for it- love- watch for it- with- watch for it- a- watch for it- certain- watch for it.
Marshall Eriksen : i understand that you are deeply in love with Robin.
Lily Aldrin : therefore tell me, what exactly is the distinction between peanut butter and jam?
Narrator : after which Barney told the punchline. For this time, it is the dirtiest joke I’ve have you ever heard. With no, i am perhaps perhaps not likely to state it.
Lily Aldrin : i can not be around you any longer.
Narrator : and then we don’t see Lily once again for one month.
Marshall Eriksen : Hey, Barney. We thought of a “thing” which will make me personally more crucial right here. I am Eco man, ’cause everybody loves a man who recycles, right?
Barney Stinson : Fired. Just just What else you’ve got?
Marshall Eriksen : I was thinking of the others that are few Wacky Tie Guy.
Barney Stinson : did you know you are fired?
Marshall Eriksen : i understand A stretch that is good for man?
Barney Stinson : we have been the knights whom say- you are fired.